A Misty Monday Mourn

In per usual laughable sarcastic mode at the day to face in the ridiculous. The bedroom space plans further on than last time I might have mentioned in part in tandem with day to day. 

What cannot be seen

though very much felt... the alter in the life tatters ... it will not really be pieced back together without a jagged edge. The live on. I love the freedom. It cannot really be called that. 

While the late husband left us. I still have much to do. There are the days where is it worth the hassle? I follow my rules within the rules.... ! Then it is better again ... ! 

Gift bags and hampers

further on from the food.

The dynamic family member who is washed fed and put to bed. The attitude of many when housebound physically, in the pragmatic spirit! 

Even those who struggle to bathe themselves deserve to have this pamper time so often rushed in elderly care. When it is palliative as in the Kernow area fantastical when in place, still a lot to be said with budgets and the necessity to facilitate basic human pamper of TLC ... 

Hours into

days into weeks and now months since a dear mum in law died ... trips into one town to t'other now... too ... The fascinating family history dating way way back in this time of all areas and the 130 years of ... the Salvation Army too. She just missed that. 

The hundred years in my shared history of the year her own Mum passed away just in that Centenary year too... The time I spent with her Mum on a  Sunday ... when not in my own town ... 

The time in areas shared in floral displays, wild and formal walks and such as you do ... I still visit in a time different ... and yet another Indian meal in Welling I believe  ... only this year and places I am trying to fathom. The history of the paternal line rich in the London boroughs. And Kent for the maternal line. 

I have watched football and cricket and trying to match the venues with the names ... in various parts of the country. Then as a family etc etc ... 

The restaurants and museums plenty in the city. The coastal times in this area .... 

And a daughter's fascination in these areas including her own foray in the museum of the home and as an ambassador for the arts in Kent besides much more. 

It looks like my time will be divided in a quad area of England to start in this recovery. And whether I have the gumption to put in place those new ideas I had with the courage as I did in my other times! 

The countdown to reduction

a sister too, with another hand op on the 23 rd December. The increase of metal plates each time. For me the continuing path in our health and my life style. The walks again planned. I wonder how far we go in the cold? 

In the meantime dilemmas, difficulties, ease and lots of sneezy dust and must. The phases in logic and illogical. 

My entertainment anew. And plenty to learn and get used to. The queasiness on waking from both mental and physical means the reluctance to sleep. The rest in restlessness difficult to acquire at times. Instead of pacing the attempt to alter the mind to a good place, 

The less said

only when all the core family had various stages of carcinogenic bits removed. And what I went in the extremes of some of life. When people say the worries are fruitless. They are very real. 

The struggle and conflicts in making a life beneficial, in enjoying it count on serenity and beauty while here! While all around those tedious to pointless outrages in others to others with life taken from others inadvertently to directly killing from the various conflicts in life on this planet ... 

Where we could maybe be one time fighting over clean air to live in, and the breakdown of all the things we know? The continued churning out of manufacturing pollution, deforestation, population growth, over urbanisation etc 

The NHS silently and sometimes publically rationing care to those they see fit! 

The one of many examples how things are in this supposedly transparent spouting world 

The nights in strange

the time the mares or dreams give the state of mind in struggles of the particular dilemma from that day ... 

And whether I am in control of my life or not 

The dreams of only those in a situation of living in a hoard will know of 

The whistling near of those tornadoes when you translate that into speak common 

Those others not so easy to do so in common 

And certainly those that leave me in sweat of shaking scared beyond speak 

Post lunch lull

and confusion ... time out for a mo on the onslaught of much ...

I have enjoyed the bittersweet task of completing  a wish when death abruptly stopped the life of those shared wishes in the tracks of doing back in another Olympic year ... 

In this Olympic year I achieved the next basic next step up ... its not on the wall and it is not yet the size ... There is only one to share it mostly ... I adapted to those needs I now require with the adjustments in the now, for the wait already too long ... the further may or may not bring the next upgarade or downgrade ... depends where health and wealth in quality time in pilgrimage of helping others in an entirely different way of life ... 

The options many once, I completed and shaken off a legacy of social isolation in needs of another complexities away from this life ... 

Out from in ... In the loop ...

of gossip on the airwaves in this anew time ... the wider circle of acquaintances in keep up to date with life in joy and sadness, 

It is not on the scale like before in my own world, much in different with the world out of the in ,,,

The time of gossip in words, image, audio, the moving or in the still .... and only not always face to face... though there is  'face'time 

the most interesting time in a town in Kent ...

it would be good to go forward to get involved with the town council if I was in the right frame of mind ...

 from a daughter  time in involvement in  much in town district and county to national levels  ... 

Our semi rural area and what I have noticed this summer from past photos from previous times in recovery how this area has disintegrated and the proposal to yuppie it up pushing out the locals who struggle as it is ... 

Where once, now is ...

a strange familiar in feelings fringe in the outer core ... 

Listening to life in different, in everything out of my part of the world travel through ... the exertions on moans and groans as I pace in a bit more laid back ...