Pixels old in Scan

The vibrancy of a new pups coat to the pups that have gone before in the way technology has progressed. A time starting and sorting a parents timeline in photos from dating to the future of the generations unfolding back to their childhood and before. The wade through drawers and boxes. We are taking part in clearing back a home in the usual Spring clean of rooms in an abode. My Mum kept busy since Dad passed away in condensing down her life in ways different. The removal of reminders in how we all deal with grief differently, of another’s belongings after death. The general tidy up in the season of change generally within the walls of homes. 

The childhoods through the eras, the young photos of the generations that went before, the milestones and progress of family and friends through times, picnics, at the seaside, carnivals, parades, activities at school and play. The dressing up from beachwear to formal wear and all in between...  The mermaids washing no longer seen on a river. The changing face of fashion, vehicles, decor, roads, rivers and landscape ... the buildings no longer standing and other architect timeless ... 

The Brownie Guard of honour for a wedding of a Tawny Owl. That church is now an undertakers. The church converted in 2015. The blue bridesmaid dress once cherished before the ruins of a life. The spark back of the memory loss, lost in the abyss of hoard ... The life that past by away from some of those milestones whilst within the confines of stuff ... 

The double edge sword of seeing photos lost in the mess at home, in the more usual archives of an abode of life that has seen a young family grow up, leave home, go on into retirement to widowhood. 

There is the stick of stuck time when photos shared with the family stopped. The realisation when it crept up upon us. 

Mmmmmmmmmm

though left the farm shop empty handed one July day. It did not entice or indulge me. The passion lost of even the local produce. A little quality better than a lot of crap, one used to enjoy!  

Those who forgot that not only does one hoard, one does not keep. 

Only rebuying;  rather than storing! I am swinging back to life before setting up home. 

The abode thoughts in a revamped world where bedsits are now not so legal ... 

The equation and equivalent of a lot smaller lifestyle beyond this muddle. 

The ideas into decisions into doing. I have ruthless rid of much and there is still

many segments to sort on in which direction to head towards. 

this is life now, one takes it in without touching the unnecessary The interest lost when abundance of much came once upon !  ... 

A breathe of freshness

descends upon after some murky feelings. The knowledge that perhaps I can feel a lightness again. The interlinking appreciation on the gift in time and the harshness of eviction notices and whatever you get when on the wrong end of life. A life in misunderstanding and non action on a lot of lack of basic needs in duty of care. 

A lot in life still to make progress beyond the door in many aspects of life ending. The ending in the worst case scenarios. A culture where the remains of their loved one immediately not being able to be laid to rest in a traditional way adds to the distress ... 

I could not do what was necessary in dignity of a person. And it follows to this day. I had many months of not being able to grieve in peace my way. That will haunt me to my own death day and beyond. 

Ministries so diverse

a hospital based drama showing the lit candles in another environment within acute settings  ... a hospital is a diverse community along with the volunteers, caring companions and dementia areas of care, the league of friends and so forth  ... the chaplain work one can assist in support ... the can dos of anyone who so wishes to maybe do ... at certain aspects of times in life ... it is not to put into words my thoughts so private in this ... where the dialect to actions did not work ... the logic not thought in the surrealness of no one to everyone floating about me ... 

The conflict of times when not ready to deal with so much beyond comprehension 

I could not follow this path .... I was sorely tested time and again by those in this line of belief,  I can not always comprehend. This until a ministry tried to assist from a totally unknown source, I turned away initially when on the verge of going from this life ... 

I appreciated it but it took a while to accept inline with the haze of detest of social activity I was reluncrant to face ... I wanted to curl up and just go ... 

... and then of course a devout cousin who helped me without fully comprehending at the time in his quarters and my view and stand point in finding a tad of the way ... and all those experiences we had and still having in our divinely time very personal to each and everyone of us ... 

In these times my Mum noticed the tone of my once kinda Dad surfacing, before he too encountered what we as a diverse family already knew ... 

My papers and records of baptism are now in my pictorial timeline ... a Mum who continued the beliefs in line with all she signed in all those technical terms in raising us in accordance with the timely church guidance and direction embodied in our country ... while Dad was on a different level in this at that time in our births ... 

I have so much now to show a daughter in my sketches, paintings, records of much in that enriching family history we carry.  Where we are from, in our ancestors legacies, the creative education in life celebration and death line in diverse eras of individual and shared histories   ... 

A Testy time

The move through much on without what I knew. All totally new in swathes and drips. The travel back and forth through the twists of time. The family sharing the albums across the miles. And whilst in a reflective mood faced some images in a very big blast from the past ... 

The photos too back on the piers around this country .... and while the kid in a relaxed mood we have made plans for a road trip in and around the city and coast of where I reside ... I will be eating fish and chips on a pier myself very soon into the next season, not the same as the Kernow coast but still stunning !!!  ... but first a trip to spend time with a sister who will be off work awhile, recovering from an op which for the first time she had under local ! 

Photos revisited ...

a lot easier when they are encapsulated in automated index ... the vibrancy of colour depth and subject stimulating the senses so sharply. The places in collections not ever taken for granted.

The height of many views captured once again from atop hills or now buildings coming back in the equation. Atop cliffs, sand dunes, beaches, coves. In others houses, mansions or museums. In cities, towns, villages or hamlets ... ship wrecks, lighthouses too. 

The waterways, marshes, tracks or trails. The fields, forests expanses of moors to coast in the terrain of one view in the South West to the bottle kilns of the industrial North. 

Though I have many photos still to capture ... the regular tin mine ruin on the trip out in Kernow. The rail travel of a building outside of Crewe ... on approaching the Capital city of a castle on a mound ... 

And that is while moving in passing ... 

I still have the many facets of a view on foot left to see ... old and brand new ... 

A September view of many many new places to come ... and that will be into Scotland too then ... meanwhile a first trip back into Wales for a Summer birthday ...

That will leave Ireland before too long maybe ? 

One less item

... in the way of life in a home this day  ... the end task to a capsulated life ... The long haul in decisions to let go of hobbies and makes and more ... to give life in skills different. 

The days where it is harder to function than others. The days for walks maybe with the ideas I have ... 

This gives a little gumption with discussion with a doctor and other agencies that don't listen ... how to manage. And with myself to get to Kernow and get on with it ... 

The lists you have to make and forms to fill to get this moving. The way online works is not always good in an itemised life ... to move it ... 

The reliance on others when you don't drive let alone to drive a truck to move your own items by just chucking it in ...