This season last

started a new trend in difference ... another deep loss ... the impact of a dearly loved mum in law ... who embraced me within the fold from that moment of meeting, until we were the two left in a more binding time beyond words ... until too it was here time to go for now ... 

We are now in another new time in the next generations first; for the two of them setting up their own nest ... I am going to enjoy it all in the best ability I can, not only for us that are left, but a hubby too whose time was to go early ... 

The more ... the much ... the minimalist

From time in a Cornish Eden project 2014

the epic in the Eden ... the dome Eco system nestled in a disused quarry ... the hot bed in the glass house ... a time in a haze of fresh grieve of a Dad just gone ... the cool huts to heal in ... I found life hot after the cool 

The silly, stupid, and the sorry ...

... skidding along the precarious precipice in all that was thrown our way. The slippery slope in time on.. The segments of not belonging. The serious in the silly. And vice versa. The turn of cheek. The say in shallow. The deep in. 

The near miss. The pounding on the inner self will never be fully understood, especially those who deal in the everyday of us ... two many of us, too few of them ... 

All tied up in life

imbalances ... the pave for some special time to catch up. The fog in learning gets to me. The point lost in the forever mourn. The strangeness in growing with someone. Those that say it comes again. Yes for some. Yes it can. It is not the same as knowing since back when. It is strange without. 

When special beyond words comes along. It is understood by those who have been there. A freedom for some, that, that comes with being a partner, who gives not the freedom some do. I was fortunate in that I was free within too. The obvious boundaries go without saying. If either of us had wanted to go up in space. We could have done. The individuality, that comes within duos. 

More of a wander

into constructive thought indeed ... The better than the thoughts of destruction to my life ...

The tinker in time at last into my creativity in positive ...

The sorrow ...

.,, the sadness dispels into dreams to take flight in signs given ... 

Only at the end of June in one the many conversations yet again on my still youngish age to go, have a life ... I was reminded ... I am very aware of that ... to have had three decades, before I settled into family life, within the next two decades I would be a widow ... and to start the next maybe lot in a slight difference of not just the offspring to fly the nest ... I am able to explore again for myself with me and my ... 

It is a journey of such ... I will relish in time, the opportunities. The bit by bit of the grief to live alongside. At times still surreal, I find. This compounded with our daughter up the North West of  England.. It feels in some moments ... did that part of life with a family happen ...? 

A special day passed yesterday

without the latest family member  ... and now the excitement of a reserved car for driving test past ... And in the spirit of our life now ... Our daughter surprising me with it sometime this month ...  her test taking place in this time line of plans further .... 

Then we head into new travels again via car ... And time in the future to persuasion of seeing thy once again behind the wheel ...? 

We have the places planned ...

It depends which season in passing though ... At least she is being optimistic... 

Time in steadiness

... a collation in notes of the many, the much and the facts and the case in point ... the reply to the reply to a submission of the where and whyfores ... quite an hilarious time if it were not so serious in the outcome ... 

A mission break ...

... The time spent in facing the ignorance of time, those core letters I still had from that vital time ...The facts speak in these words in past ... And the following core letters to the various bodies and persons since ... the sense in where it will end ... My sister knowing the recent events (only I do not talk about it constant ... It stays in par with life ... silent ....) will lead to the ultimate ... I had in mind along this time in being sent a long, long silly dance ....

And among all that ...the to be .... A reason in fate and destiny and divine intervention ... All playing a part in this ....

I have re-established the timeline ...the given task to one body ...persistence is not the word ... In getting the facts from their confusing timeline, back to me in a full and thorough explanation ... Which since the first time in doing post crisis ... not one person or agency has done so ...

I was kindly given one part, that another agency gives you automatically for the records. I had to get a copy sent to me from this current one, with a polite, appreciative request ... Thankful it was forthcoming ...no doubt realising I am in for the answers ...the case was in the point of fact ...could not be a matter for discussion ...

Mission in mammoth

where those go, so I go ... the quiet stealth of ignorance within, still with modern communications it still will not sync ... good for raising facts in point ... 

I am as always doing the work of others ... the detective and analysis ... I have looked at these vocations in my quest for quell ... Forensic science within my passion for answers in peek ... 

The death of life

into a fountain of living 

Sprinkles of words and images and the home sparkling a bit more in places

The gaiety in plans for myself and with others

The anticipation of bad, yes, those departments that spout one thing and contradict in the very next sentence ... I am dealing with four separate departments at present ... 

The wild in silence

I will never forget this part of the journey. The imprint in these walls. The lost will never be glossed. The fact I have only touched the surface of a time of such wild unnoticed behaviour is down to the fact of the mysteries of that intervention, a lot do not believe in ... A whisper of a breadth in my demise. It was obvious it was not my time. A fate of travel in where I am at now. 

The day end here

will be when the pneumatic drill falls silent ... Finally later than advertised the demolishes of waste at the end of the road is a huge mound of rumble ... A non listed antique building paving the way for a monstrous concrete mess of greed in these towns ... 

Hospitals Hospices and Home Care

Oncology wards and Macmillan nurses are a fascinating function, there is much that happens here ... In the home the fantastic care and the hospice too, The dignity in death  ...camaraderie in spirit ... the chats with the Macmillan nurses, talks with volunteers ... the doctors and nurses, and those who are suffering themselves, having empathy when my Dad was so frail, about how life can be cruel cos he couldn't see well too ... long before the cancer came and took ... 

Attempt in much and such

the where to in the process, spontaneous, the unplanned, where it takes me each and every day ....

I made some sauce ... I was feeling fruity ...

I started on another scarf ... the texture in thy hands, the colour kooky. A strange way to knit up too.

And in the flurry and flutter in the flunctuating paper. The next mode in getting heard, on those who do not know.

Where this will lead ... will be interesting .... 

The now, how not

An evening out for a walk 

The cricket in a town 

... in the warmth of the seasonal activities of a balmy night ...

... from earlier this same week; time spanned across the counties travelled